This morning something happened to me and it got my brain going. Let me first tell you about my morning so we can be on the same page:
I woke up and got ready as usual. My mother in law stays over on days I have to work so she was up giving my son his milk and keeping him company until I emerged from my room ready for work. While playing with my son I realize he’s pooped and needs to be changed so off we go. For those of you who are mothers of a mobile child, you know how much of a task it is to change a diaper. It’s that time period from when they begin to wiggle to right before they understand what the heck you’re saying that’s the hardest. So while my son is squirming I use my body to try to hold him still and boom…poop on my top. He does this new thing where he grabs his dirty diaper by the side flap and tries to pull it away. I’ve become proactive about this and grab that side of the diaper before he can get to it, but today he pulled a fast one on me and turned his body to squirm off the table. So long story short, I used my body to block him and got his butt right on the front of my top.
I immediately started thinking about which top in my closet would go with the rest of my outfit, since I was running low on time. Luckily I wear all black at the salon so replacing the top wasn’t a huge deal. And that’s when it hit me. At what point did I become so comfortable with feces on my shirt that I didn’t even think about that and just thought, OK I have to change my top, which one will it be?
Being a mother changes everything. It’s not the same changes for everyone, but change for certain. I find that I’m even more laid back than I already was. I was always accepting of things that happened in my life, but now it’s a whole new level. My son brings all sorts of adventures to my days and I’m proud to say I take it all in stride. Even during his tantrums and melt downs I find that my mind is a peaceful ocean and I’m just trying to figure out what his issue is and how to resolve it. Very seldom do I get frustrated, I’ve reached a level of understanding that allows everything to make complete sense to me.
I have my mother and my grandfather to thank for this. I can only remember calm reactions from them. . My mom is always understanding anytime anything happens. She would explain very thoroughly why something was happening. Not a drip of panic from her, ever. My grandfather was the same way. He was so accepting of people and their personalities. Even if someone was unreasonable and just awful, he would accept that part of them because he understood their story. He would tell me since I was a child, that people don’t change, and so if you can’t change something you must learn to accept it. These lessons have saved me so much heartache. I don’t take things so personally because I realize that people are different and in order to live peacefully I just have to let go and accept. Of course I’m human, and things hurt my feelings from time to time, but you’ll find no grudges in my heart. At the same time I am able to recognize when people are just toxic and need to be ignored. One of the most important lessons I learned from my family was forgiveness. Being surrounded by these calm personalities helped shape me into the person I am today. I hope to create that same environment for my son. (I should add in here that “calm” isn’t how most people would describe my family because we’re loud and outspoken, but I don’t mean it in that context. I mean the calmness that’s in their hearts.)
Nurturing a new life is hard work, and although your baby isn’t always going to be dependent, the challenges change and take new form. It’s important to keep a clear mind and analyze the situation and find your solution. Baby fell and scraped his knee, that’s fine, let’s go clean it up and get a cool band aid on it. Baby is teething and has turned into a monster, ok let’s cuddle and put this oragel on your gums. Got poop on your shirt, change it. Got pee in the mouth, don’t worry it’s sterile. What I mean is, there’s no use in worrying about what has already happened, just find your solution, there’s bound to be one!
New mothers and fathers, I was in your shoes just over a year ago. I’m familiar with the overwhelming feeling you get just before baby shows up. You know when you start to realize just what it is exactly that you got yourself into. Raising a human being, in charge of a life, teaching…the job duties go on and on. Take it easy and a day at a time. You don’t have to have it all figured out right away, just do your best in the moment.
Getting poop on my shirt and not batting an eye shows me my perspective has changed. 10 years ago I probably would have squealed “Ewwwwww!” and ran for my life. But you know, when you’re a mother, you get drooled on, cried on, peed on, pooped on, bled on, pretty much every bodily fluid will spend some time on you. That’s life. It’s the role I chose and I love every stinkin’ minute of it.