Hugs from Beyond

My Grandfather passed away the year I met my husband.  And just like that the relationship was reincarnated.  Read about that here:  A Lesson in Value

Here’s a moment in my life I hold very close to my heart.

When I was about 1 years old, my Dada (that’s what I call him) came to live with us.  At first it was just a visit, but I missed him so much when he left that he ended up coming back and never leaving.  That decision changed my life forever.

Growing up with Dada was such a blessing.  He was calm and collected, intelligent, full of stories, and a gentle soul.  From him I learned the art of forgiveness, and letting things go.  He had unconditional love for us, and no matter who came to him for help and advice, he was always willing to help.  That’s how I learned about compassion.  Dada was an astrologer and a damn good one.  He’s never been wrong.  And just a few weeks before he passed away he said something to me that changed the course of my life.

Now Dada had always given me sound advice, and he seemed to always know what was going to happen in my life.  By the time I was in my teenage years I had come to blindly trust him.  He had never failed to warn me of money pits, accidents, no good people, etc.  So that day when I went to visit him after work was no different.  I sat and asked how he was feeling.  I scratched his back for him and held his hand while we just sat and talked about my day, just the way he used to hold my hand when I was sick.  I told him he needed to hang on until I got married and had kids.  I needed him in my life.  I was feeling so lost and alone.  He was in the hospital for an extended time and my routine at home was turned upside down.  The times in the evenings when we used to sit and joke around had turned into quiet evenings alone, waiting for my parents to come home.  I missed him in a way I’d never felt before.  He had warned me several times that his time was coming.  I couldn’t accept it.  I foolishly, perhaps naively,  relied on the doctors to turn him back into the Dada that I grew up with.

So that day, I asked him for a final piece of advice.  I asked him to tell me everything I needed to know.  I knew that from the day I was born he had made my astro charts and he knew all along what would become of me, and as I grew and matured he would give me little nuggets of information that would help me along my path. I was asking him for guidance.

He squeezed my hand, and told me that he wouldn’t “physically” be at my wedding.  Tears filled my eyes as I squeezed his hand back and nodded, accepting the information.

“You’ll be married by 26, don’t worry.”

“But how?  There isn’t even a man in my life right now.”  I frowned wondering who on Earth was going to come into my life and sweep me off my feet in a matter of 11 months, at which point I would turn 26.

“He’ll be tall and good looking, educated, and from a good family.  Don’t worry you’re a very lucky person, you have all good things in your future.”  He went on to vaguely describe light colored eyes and an unusual last name.

I asked Dada how I would meet this man, and he told me when he figured it out he would tell me.

He also told me that I would go back to school for another degree and really help people.  He said I’d be like a doctor.  I took all this information and put it in my pocket.  A month later, he passed, just the way he said he would.  With my mom by his side and peacefully.  It all happened the way it was supposed to.  I wasn’t supposed to be there, and so like he had foretold, I got stuck at a meeting for work and instead of going straight to the hospital, came home to meet my parents.  I vaguely remember walking into the house and my dad telling me “Dada is no more”  and I hit the floor.  My muscles just gave out and an invisible hand violently snatched my heart from my body.  My cousins were all around me and my dad was hugging me and I just remember saying “No” over and over again.

The day of his funeral, I had a dream.  I couldn’t see him but I could feel him.  Even the things he said to me, I couldn’t hear them, but I could feel them.  He told me to get on a matrimonial site that I hadn’t had luck with before.  I even protested in my dream.  He insisted that I needed to do this now or my life would take a different path, and one that wasn’t intended for me.  I woke up confused and crying.  Despite the confusion, I ran to my laptop in the middle of the night and through tears and choked sobs I put up my profile on shaadi.com.

It was only a week later that I saw the profile of a mysterious looking man with kind, light colored eyes.  Within a few months I was engaged to be married and happier than I could imagine.  I now knew the meaning of soul mate and true love.  Everything my grandfather told me came true.  And he kept his promise, as soon as he knew how I was going to meet my husband, he told me.  I know without a doubt that if I had never had that dream I wouldn’t have put my profile up.  I had such bad luck with matrimonial sites in the past, that I wasn’t willing to take that chance again, but how could I ignore a message from beyond?!

This past Saturday was my Grandfather’s birthday and in his memory each year we go out to eat.  That was his thing, for birthdays and death-days we would all go out and eat in honor of that person.  To keep his tradition alive, my husband and I go out on birthdays and death-days as well.  Typically my parents will go out at the same time and I spend dinner on the phone with them as we remember and share favorite stories. We keep it small and intimate and it always feels like such a special occasion.  Like we’re really honoring him and everything he contributed to our family.

I love to remember him and share stories with my husband about him.  Jayesh tells me that he feels like he knows Dada as if he grew up with him too.  I’m so excited to share this tradition with my son.

As for the other predictions, I did end up going back to school and as a hairdresser I help people by listening to them and being a friend to confide in, and by making them feel good about themselves.  As for the doctor part, well I do a lot of that for my family.  With all the prior experience and the education I’ve received, I’m blessed to be able to decipher medical reports and interpret diagnostic images for my family.

Dada, you changed my life, and even after you’ve moved on to your next life, you continue to inspire and motivate.  I thank God for the time we had together.  I feel you when you’re around, and your wisdom resonates in our lives.

I wanted to share this to honor his memory.  This is the story I remembered when we were celebrating this weekend.  Do any of you have personal traditions that you keep?  If you don’t, I think it’s a wonderful thing to share with those closest to you.  I hope to pass this on to my children and perhaps they’ll find positivity on a day that would normally bring feelings of sadness.

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2 thoughts on “Hugs from Beyond

  1. Monali says:

    Wow hon! I’m sitting here at work crying. Your Dada seemed like a great man and he left behind his kindness and love in you. I bet he is looking down at you now prouder than ever. Miss you!

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